I am trying to get into the Christmas spirit but everyday is the holidays are hard for me. My heart aches for both mine and my husband's mother. My heart aches for my children to have grandmothers. I want out of this house. I do not want to live in a home with only one bathroom anymore. I need storage space. I want to live in a home where I can do projects because I know I will be living there for a while. I want to live closer to my job. I am tired of driving one hour one way to work. I do not like that my husband and my children spent Thanksgiving here alone while I worked this year and 2 years ago. I hate living far away from family. I want to be out of debt.
Some of these problems I can solve and some I have no control over. I realize that I should be grateful that I have a home, a job, a loving husband and healthy children. I am just weary and I am praying that God will give me strength to push forward putting one foot in front of the other.
I just long for the day when we can have some consistency to our lives. I want more than anything to move into a home that we can be comfortable in, where the drive won't be so far, the kids will be in a school district where I want them and I will be able to get home to them quicker.
Today I was able to convince my sweet and loving M to donate some of his toys to children who are less fortunate which helped de-clutter the den a little. He was very generous. I was so scared he would have a problem letting go and he surprised me. J loaded the car with several bags of toys that he had outgrown or didn't play with anymore. I am so thankful that God has given me this sweet, generous child as my son.
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