Merry Christmas or Bah Humbug???

I'm not sure of my mood this year.  The picture above of M represents my mood perfectly, I'm just not sure what to think of Santa this year.

I am trying to get into the Christmas spirit but everyday is the holidays are hard for me.  My heart aches for both mine and my husband's mother.  My heart aches for my children to have grandmothers.  I want out of this house.  I do not want to live in a home with only one bathroom anymore.  I need storage space.  I want to live in a home where I can do projects because I know I will be living there for a while.  I want to live closer to my job.  I am tired of driving one hour one way to work.  I do not like that my husband and my children spent Thanksgiving here alone while I worked this year and 2 years ago.  I hate living far away from family.  I want to be out of debt.

Some of these problems I can solve and some I have no control over.  I realize that I should be grateful that I have a home, a job, a loving husband and healthy children.  I am just weary and I am praying that God will give me strength to push forward putting one foot in front of the other.

I just long for the day when we can have some consistency to our lives.  I want more than anything to move into a home that we can be comfortable in, where the drive won't be so far, the kids will be in a school district where I want them and I will be able to get home to them quicker.

Today I was able to convince my sweet and loving M to donate some of his toys to children who are less fortunate which helped de-clutter the den a little.  He was very generous.  I was so scared he would have a problem letting go and he surprised me.  J loaded the car with several bags of toys that he had outgrown  or didn't play with anymore.   I am so thankful that God has given me this sweet, generous child as my son.



  

Note to Self

If you see me around town and I'm not dressed to the T and sporting the latest cute haircut....know that I am currently reading Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover.  This book is inspiring me to become debt free.  I, Joy Henslee, 100%, with all my being want nothing more than for my family to be debt free!  I'm not talking about keeping the school loans and the house payment debt free, I'm talking about I don't get bills in my mailbox except my current utilities debt free.  The hard part about our new debt free plan is that I am having to work extra shifts just to keep us from using the credit cards and every time I get close to saving up our $1000 emergency fund, BOOM there's an emergency.  Like the septic lines had to be completely replaced last week...$1400.

I think I have found the root of my problem just from watching Dr. Phil.  I love to eat and I love to shop.  Nothing makes me feel better than a new outfit or shoes.  The problem is, that satisfying feeling doesn't last very long.  Then comes the bill from the department store or the credit card bill and next thing you know I have ran the bill up to $500 and I'm still not happy.Then an emergency happens and I can't pay off the credit card like I had planned when I used it.  I am doing better though.  I am trying to be very frugal here lately.  I'm not buying every little outfit that I see for myself or for M & M.

I can just see myself sitting in a Dr. Phil show where my marriage has gone bad because of our finances. I really don't want that.

Dear Joy,   

I know that you are dying to buy a new pair of jeans but you have 20 pairs in your closet.  You may need to lose a couple of pounds to get in them.  Let that be your motivation.  When you become debt free and you can pay cash for them, you will feel much better about your decision.  Better yet, if you lose a couple of pounds and get into the ones in your closet, you will feel fantastic!

Love,

Dave Ramsey and Dr. Phil 

P.S.  People could care less what you wear or what your hair looks like!  Now FOCUS!